View Full Version : Nice wind up at Phoenix Fives monthly meet

07-07-2012, 02:43 PM
OK, so let me set the scene...

Cerberus (the forum admin guy / moderator on our local forum) has been gradually getting together this wing to go on his car. In his usual way being a complete perfectionist and making sure that everything is exactly how he wants it, he decides to design the struts himself. Not just any old struts, but with a Hello Kitty cut into them! Obviously there is a certain amount of banter on our local forum and people are taking sides, while waiting to see how it turns out. On the one side we have the "Brothers of the BGW", extolling the virtues of having a large tea tray hanging precariously off the back of your slow hairdressers car. On the other side, we have the "Flat Boot Society", quoting all sorts of scientific evidence to confirm the BGW won't allow you to drive upside down at 20mph because of the phenomenal amounts of downforce it provides, in fact at best you may slightly dent your bootlid.

At this point in time, I find myself in the "Flat Boot Society" and do indeed quote some random facts I read once on a forum (which therefore are undeniable facts and must absolutely be true... maybe...). The debate moves on, and form over function is discussed, as well as some genuine research into the ideal height of the wing (13 inches IIRC according to 949 Racings website) and the angle the wing should be at, whether there is any value having it unless you fit a Hardtop, etc, etc.

So the time approaches when the BGW will officially be unveiled and the crowds gather, nervous anticipation is building. Cerbs pulls into the car park and all is quiet while everyone takes it in. People are changing sides as they suddenly realise that bootlids are don't have to be flat or actually, isn't that a MGW really and not a proper BGW?

Unbeknown to the crowds (apart from 3 anonymous spies who have been sent a text), half a mile down the road a second BGW is taking shape. A bemused onlooker in a lone Focus RS shakes his head slowly as a leviathon is taking shape in a quiet corner of The Oak, Hockley Heath.

Ha ha, it is no less than a double agent, an insider spreading mis-information to the members of the "Flat Boot Society". After literally an hour and a quarter of careful planning the previous night (and a bit of nifty jigsaw work, let me tell you) the time is nigh when the double agent will risk it all, and unmask himself for the ultimate triumph and glory of the "Brothers of the BGW"

Ladies and Gentleman, tremble and quake as you stand in awe of the ultimate creation. Bow down and worship, lower your head in sheer adoration (although I'll settle for complete bemusement if thats all you've got) at my BGW...


No MX5s were hurt during the taking of these pictures, any damage done to the worldwide reputation of MX5 owners was unintentional and purely coincidental...