Li'l Stinker (NC Content)

[Johnnie]

what if you polish the hood and clear coat seal it, would that help keep the shine?

Too late. I painted it flat black last year. I'm going to have it returned to body color soon.

[— Phatmiata —]

The Devil went down to Florida. He was lookin' for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this young man autocrossin' his Miata and drivin' it hot.
And the Devil jumped upon a hickory stump and said;

"Boy, let me tell you what."

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a auto crosser, too.
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.
Now you drive a pretty good Miata, boy, but give the Devil his due.
I'll bet a Miata of gold against your soul 'cause I think I'm better than you."



The boy said, "My name's Johnnie, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the best there's ever been."

Johnnie, rev up your engine and drive your Miata hard.
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Florida and the Devil deals it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny Miata made of gold,
But if you lose the devil gets your soul.

The Devil opened up his Miata and he said, "I'll start this show."
And fire flew from his exhaust tips as he revved his Miata to go.
As he pulled the Miata across the starting line it made an evil hiss.
And a band of demons joined in and it sounded something like this.




When the Devil finished driving, Johnnie said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son,
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done."

and he drove...

"Fire on the Mountain." Run, boys, run!
The Devil's in the house of the rising sun;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Granny, does your dog bite? No, child, no.




The Devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid the keys to that golden Miata on the ground near Johnny's feet.
Johnnie said, "Devil, just come on back if you ever wanna try again,
I done told you once—you son of a bitch—I'm the best that's ever been."




And he autocrossed again:

"Fire on the Mountain." Run, boys, run!
The Devil's in the house of the rising sun;
The chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Granny, will your dog bite? No, child, no.

[Wesramos]

The best thing I've read all year way to make the song 10x better hahaha